To all the ships at sea...

...and to all the ports of call. To my family and to all friends and strangers:

I am stealing the lines of a movie, because you can never go wrong with a letter that starts out by addressing the seabound and everyone else on land.

I might have said this before, but I feel that it must be said again, there should be a word to describe how badly I handle things. Nay, a whole sentence... Or a paragraph... Possibly even a book. I'm not a skillful carrier of anything. I'm not apologizing. I'm stating the obvious. And obviously, I am flawed, that's not to say that there is no beauty in being flawed. If only people could understand it.

To celebrate what is broken. And to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Because in the end the only question you will be asking yourself is "What does it matter?" and the only answer you can give is "Nothing". It means nothing.

Being human, emotions are bound to get the best of you. Even the worst ones... But why should that be a bad thing? You should be thankful that, at least, you can feel. Revel. Smile. Laugh. Don't wallow around in murky anger whilst blaming me for everything that has gone wrong.

What does it matter? It has happened and there's nothing that can be done to undo it. The initial reaction is to fix it, but why fix something that has been broken when it looks better now that it's shattered? Absurd? Of course. But what does it matter? Take solace in the fact that you now see the truth behind the veil of perfection. Of course, I say perfection, but I really do mean something else.

No. I will not give in to your desires. I am my own person and I will do and say as I see fit. I will not let the world sway me. Hypothetically, there is no right or wrong. There are only ideas that you can choose to accept or not. And you can choose to accept that or not. But don't force me into going along with what you and the people around you believe.

Ah... The art of it all. I suppose if it were to be fully understood, it wouldn't be as beautiful as it now appears. I'm not just saying that to console. Once you've found all that is to be realized, you begin to see the gravity of what you have once accepted whole-heartedly with open arms is what was wrong the whole time.

I know what's going on. You hate and yet you come near. For fear and to fulfill your unending selfish desire to know. Pretention, at its best, describes you in your entirety. But I will not complain, I will revel in the beauty of knowing that I have succeeded, because you have allowed me to. I now know everything that is to be revealed. The saddest part is, you still have no idea.

Oh but don't feel bad... Or actually, go ahead. Feel bad. Feel absolutely terrible. But don't forget to be thankful that, at least, you can feel and hope that someday you will understand. Or not. Understanding is overrated anyway. Confusion is the best feeling in the world.

Because in the end it all means nothing.


As Always,
D.