Dear Santa,

Every December for the past four years, I get all wrapped up in this idea that I'll finally fall in love again for the last time. Blame it on the songs, "This Christmas" and  "It must have been the mistletoe", but this is what happens.

Obviously, of course, every December, the falling-in-love-again-for-the-last-time part has not happened. I'm inclined to wonder why, but I've learned with years of experience to never ask questions that you're not sure you'd like the answer to...

...Questions that could be as trivial as, "Wow. This is really good. What is it?" or "I made this, what do you think?". Or questions that could be a little more serious like, "What am I doing with my life?" or "Am I going to be ok?"...

There are just some questions that I choose to evade, because I may not like the answer to them... Of course, there are times when you can't seem to stop focusing on those questions. Like right now, I'm focusing on "Am I finally going to meet the man I'm destined to be with this December?" and "When I finally meet him, are we going to know?" or "Have we already met, but we just haven't figured it out yet?"... Trivial questions, yes. And yet, every December these questions flood my mind.

And though for the past Decembers these questions weren't voiced out, I did get my answer... Didn't really like the answer, but hey, January, February, March, April, and May came and by then all those questions that flooded my Decembers were just a very very very distant memory... Most likely how it's gonna be again this time around...

...That or I'd finally get the answer I've been waiting for.

What? Nobody ever died of wishful thinking. Unless of course you kill me for being an optimist. Which I'm hoping you won't.


As Always,
D.


P.S.: If it wasn't already evident, I'm asking for a husband for Christmas.

P.P.S.: I know I've been asking for a boyfriend all those past Decembers, so I'm probably pushing it by asking for a husband, but I'm thinking that maybe I was just asking for the wrong thing that's why I haven't been getting it. I'm hoping that I asked for the right thing this Christmas.

P.P.P.S.: I've been really good this year.

P.P.P.P.S: Really really really good. :) Love you.