I hate that I associate you with a lot of the great songs that I listen to. I wish I never felt the way that I did knowing that this is where we would be now. But of course, the heart wants what it wants and I doubt that I could have done anything to change that even if I could go back in time.
Of course, it wasn't like I didn't try to fight it off. I did. ...But I was fighting a battle that I couldn't win. What's worse is that it honestly wasn't worth the fight. I'm sorry if that sounds vindictive or bitter, it isn't. It's just... True is what is.
But then there really are times when there's this definitive need to feed my monster pride... And it just makes me want to shake you and make you realize my worth because you don't seem to know.
I hate that I have to remember you with songs that I love, just because at one point I loved you just as much. I hate that I had to fight and that I had to lose, because everything that has passed and everything that lead up to this point really wasn't worth it. ...But you know what is?
...I am.
I was worth it. And I hate that you don't realize that I still am.
As Always,
D.
"And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into rain.
ReplyDeleteYou had and lost the one thing you kept in a safe place.
Remember the face of the girl that had made you her own.
...And how you left her alone."
Soundtrack of your life eh...
ReplyDeleteYep... Pretty much.
ReplyDeleteMiss you, Arny! How was Christmas? :)