Dear 2009,

And so we're here... Before you go, I just wanted to thank you...

You've been quite an interesting year right from the start.

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Thank you for the chaos...

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Thank you for giving me the time to reminisce...

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Thank you for realizations...

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...that weren't comforting. LOL.

But thank you, because despite the sadness, there always seemed to be a sliver of hope...

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Thank you for reminding me that everything always comes full circle.

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...And making me accept that chances are, destiny will win no matter what you choose.

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Whether those choices were made when I was too young to know...

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...Or a choice to believe in something that I should have outgrown...

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...Or someone.

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I wanted to thank you for this as well...

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Torturing as it may have been...

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The insanity of the inebriation of emotions...

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...Made my year quite interesting...

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And besides pain is part of the process. It reminded me that I can actually feel.

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...But of course, all things must end. Good, bad, wrong, or otherwise. And as far as endings went this one kind of went through the seven stages of grief. Though not in order... It started with Anger...

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Then it went through Denial...

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...Depression...

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...And more Depression...

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...Then it went through Acceptance...

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...Which should have been the end, but it went to Bargaining...

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...and from there it just dragged on...

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...And simmered...

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...And it opened up my Pandora's Box...

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...Of things that should have been locked away...

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...And secrets that should have been kept hidden...

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But thank you, still, because though I regret it now... At one point it was what I wanted.

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I may have lost. But at least I played the game.

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Thank you, too, for making me realize that history does repeat itself...

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...It makes me hopeful that next time it decides to repeat, it would be the good type of history.

The kind that takes a decade to forget...

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But I hope that when that part of history repeats itself, I won't have to forget. I'd hate to be haunted again.

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Thank you for giving me time for myself...

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...For allowing me to remember that some of the things I used to love the most are still here, I just haven't been paying any attention...

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...And for finally letting me live the life that I want to live.

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It has been a tumultuously interesting year... At times it just made me want to scream "Do over!"...

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...Especially after realizing that there's nothing left...

Mostly because there was nothing there to begin with.

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But despite that like I said... There's always a sliver of hope.

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http://danabelle.multiply.com/journal/item/1142/

Hindsight being 20/20, there are a lot of things that I would have done differently...

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...But given the chance, I'd probably do it all the same...

Because this year was worth it. All emotions included... I can safely say that I lived.

As Always,
D.


P.S.: Tell 2010, to bring it's A-Game. You're going to be hard to follow.