Dear V.,

Today, I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yes, again. No, I'll never get tired of it.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

I wonder how it would be like if I were to erase you from my memory... You and every other guy who's come and gone. I suppose, it would be just like how it is now. It seems as if I have managed to erase or at least blur everyone.

...Even you.

I guess what they say is true... The amount of time it'll take you to truly get over someone is half the time that you loved them.

I guess I must've loved you for eight years.

I could be wrong... My mathematic prowess is not as great as it used to be... Just like my memory. Besides, I've been wrong about a billion things. Think about it, I was wrong about you. I was wrong about them.

I guess that's why I've managed to blur you out... Because I was wrong... And mistakes are meant to be erased and corrected.

I'm sorry if that's harsh... But it's true. Besides, you've done a perfect job of erasing me, too.

We're even...

I'm afraid I can't say the same for the rest, though... I've blurred them out and yet they're still there thinking everything's fine. I can't blame them. I'm a fraud.

I feel bad about that... But what could I do? Would it be better if I just showed that I don't care anymore? Would that make me a better person if I were to show my real feelings or lack thereof?

Apathy is not something that a person with great passion such as myself should be feeling... It's not even really a feeling. But I can't seem to shake it off. ...And I'm not sure if I really want to.

Yes, I'm running in circles, I know. I'm an oxymoron... Always been and will probably always be.

Funny.

I'd have asked you to meet me in Montauk... But if you did, I'd probably just walk past you and I doubt that I'd even look up.

I'm sorry.


As Always,
D.