Dear 09:06

I woke up fairly early this morning. Of late I've been feeling like I shouldn't waste a wink of my time on sleep. There are a million things to do, a billion thoughts that are to be pondered, and a few lessons to be learned.

You don't know me. You do in essence, but I'm pearlescent. The slightest shift could change how I appear and what you thought you knew suddenly doesn't seem right any longer. It could be a drastic change or one that could be overlooked. But it is a change.

Truth be told, I've been rudely awakened at a very early stage. And what I used to be; what I'd still like to be; what I appear to you; is no longer who I am. Maybe, to protect myself, I've just learned to ride the tumultuous waves of another person's emotions. Or maybe, I've always been like this, but I never realized the intensity of how I feel.

I feel deeply. And my feelings are oftentimes smarter than I am. They have more insight. And it's a good thing that they do, because more often than not, I am clueless and my mind's reaction time isn't that fast. My feelings however react swiftly and automatically. They mirror whatever emotion you have a little more vividly and clearly without giving it a second thought. Oftentimes, they do it without consulting with my mind...

If I flirt with you, it's because you started it. If I puzzle you, it's because you make me think. If I love you, it's because you love me. If I hurt you, it's because you hurt me or that I know you will. If I refuse to be around you, it's because you don't want me around. ...And if you don't believe me, it's ok, your mind still probably hasn't caught up with how you feel yet, but if and when it does, you will look back on this and realize that... I was just agreeing with you.

Always have and always will.


As Always,
D.