I can't sleep...

I keep waking up because of the extreme discomfort of sickness. My fever has gone down, hence I am now feeling fantastically warm, that I can't stand it. I feel like taking a shower, but I'm afraid, I'll get sicker if I do. My throat is still a little itchy, and I should probably stop smoking for the next few days... Or possibly forever.

...Is it pathetic for me to wish that you would actually rise above everyone and everything else and redeem yourself in the simplest of ways? Allowing me to believe in the possibility of the magic and the beauty and innocence of love that has somehow lost its luster in my mind. Of course, if you do that, I'll be left hoping for something that I should not want. Humor me, for I am feeling under the weather and I'm still a little woozy.

I wish I could say that I've let it go... But the truth is I haven't. You have angered me in the best of ways and I just can't seem to let it go. And no amount of ginger lemon honey tea would be able to repair my voice for the next few weeks if I were to scream at you and explain to you the intricacies of how unfair you have been and of how inexcusably vague you are.

Of course, I would never do that, just like you will never rise above everyone and everything else... Because you have no need to.

I am nothing to you.

...Sadly, you could have been everything to me.