Dear John,

You know what? I'm really glad that you don't read this and that even if you do, you won't want to understand it. Because what I'm about to say makes it hard knowing that I'd be saying it right to your face, rather than just plainly doing it behind your back or under your nose...

I wronged you. Think of me what you will. I am a sad and sorry pathetic loser for allowing myself to sink that low. For that, I'd just like to apologize. But you know what? This really isn't even about that. Although, I really am sorry for allowing my inquisitive nature to take me that far. This is about giving up what I wasn't supposed to give in to in the first place. ...You.

You were right... You can't choose who you love. ...But you can choose how you love and I'm choosing to love you rightly. So, I'm giving up, because it is what's right. I never should have given in to what I knew fate couldn't follow through with. What does it matter how it appears to the world? You will never love me.

I want to pick a fight. I want an argument. I want you to be angry. I want you to be flaming mad, because I can't have the emotion that I want from you, I'd settle for anything, even if it is anger... Something... Anything! Just a little emotion, because you seem to have none. But there really is nothing to fight about. I placed this upon myself. This is all my fault. I chose to give in. I chose to fall in love. I chose to get hurt. And as sad as that may seem, it's alright. It's ok, because I'm choosing to give up... I'm choosing to stand up from where I fell and hopefully walk away with nothing more than a scratch.


As Always,
D.