Dealing with it...

Dear you,

I would have typed your name, but I'm not that brave. I've written to you and about you a couple of different times... I wonder if you notice.

I was in the shower earlier, when I realized how much you make me wish that it really does happen, that way it'd be easier to avoid the giant elephant in the room... And by elephant I really do mean me, because it really is just me right? Me with the over-active imagination again. Or me with the hypergullible hypothalamus.

Don't you just pity the girl who gets smitten just like that?

But no, see, I've decided to rise above it... Just like I've always done and just like I always will. I will pretend that it's nothing for as long as I possibly can, because, it really is nothing. If it were something, I wouldn't be writing you this letter. I would be all up in your arms giggling and saying "love couldn't possibly this sweet". Now ain't that something?

This... All of this... This is nothing.

It could never be something, because I would never be able to measure up. I'm only human and that's my saving grace... Yes, precisely like the song. I don't have a halo. I wish I did. But you know what? Even if I did, the perfect girl with the halo would just walk away because that's the right thing to do.

I hope you're not doing this on purpose. If you are, I have to ask you to stop. If you're just being you, then we've got a bigger problem. See, the problem with that is you being you is making it so difficult for me to just pretend that this is nothing. What's worse, is that you are giving me a reason to want something.

...Something that I can't have.

Don't do this to me. I'm not as strong as you think. I could fall for you any minute now... And without you there to catch me, I would shatter to a million pieces.

Of course broken as I am, that really doesn't mean much, but you know what I mean.


As Always,
D.