Danabelle in MonDEE's Shorts

Today, I was supposed to introduce MonDee Day. Unfortunately, I know that just like Mondays' Mimi Monologues, I wouldn't be able to keep that up... So, I'm just gonna keep Mondays vacant and themeless. Boring, but ehhh. What are you gonna do? It's my blog.

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Waking up to phone calls could be a great thing or a terrible thing. Fortunately for me, for the past two days, they were the former.

Yesterday, I woke up to a very good friend's call asking me if I could take photos of his friend as well as to reconfirm whether I still want to get his camera, a Nikon N65/F65, which I really want. However, I researched on it yesterday and I saw that the current market value for it is now just about $100 and I'm not sure he would like to sell it for that. Sayang naman.

So today, I woke up to another phone call... Well not exactly... The call came about 5 minutes into my transition from being asleep and drinking coffee. It was a long distance call from Doha. From one of our old friends. She said that she saw my photos and she wanted to get her photos taken by yours truly. She said she'd come here with her family soon.

I feel so validated. It's awesome.

Wouldn't trade it for the world.

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I've realized that I will probably never love the way that I used to. The way I loved that one person. I will probably never be able to give my heart like that. I will probably never be able to trust forever... Because forever probably doesn't even exist. I don't think I could ever believe like that again after having seen the strings at the puppet show and proving that forever is just a myth.

It's hard to wake up to truths like that after a decade of believing that dreams and fairytales come true. How do you move on from that point, really? How do you get up everyday and make it ok?

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I was watching Message in a Bottle yesterday night and the waterworks started from the beginning of the movie until the end. Goodness me. And I've seen that movie at least a couple of dozen times.

What really made me cry is that I saw myself in a similar situation.

She was married to this guy and she thought it would last forever, but it didn't. And then finally, someone else came along, but it too didn't last forever.

Forever doesn't exist. And that's why I cried.

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I wonder what it will be like once I have a family of my own.

Would I still be able to blog? If so, what would I blog about? TopTen Detergents? TopTen Things my one-month-old baby did that made me smile? How would my husband feel about me blogging (If it were up to me, he should be my number one fan/lurker/stalker.)? How would my children feel? Would I go the babyblog way and start writing letters to my children every month (I'm sure I would.)? How would I feel about my children reading my old blogs? Would I stop blogging completely (Sure, hope not.)? Would Multiply still be around then?

It seems like such a long time off, but at the same time it feels like it's going to start any moment.

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Oh and while, we're on the subject of family... Technology is a funny thing. While our parents wrote in journals and diaries that are now lost, we write in a journal that is available anywhere in the world and would be visible for years to come.

It's a comforting feeling sort of... Being able to leave these digital imprints into the world... Having a slight assurance that your great great great great great grandchildren that you probably won't be able to get to know will at least know you in some sense.

And though, I know I'll be writing to you some other time in a longer and more long-winded blog:

Hello grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren! I'm not sure if we will meet, but regardless, Lola loves you more than you know. Be good and love Jesus. He loves you more than I do. I hope that at least one of you gets after me and will take millions of pictures and blog about your life and what not. I'm sure that if you're reading this and you are mildly piqued, your grand children, great grand children, and great great grandchildren would like to know about you, too.

s & Hugs,
Lola

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I have to get photos printed pala. Tsk. I need to withdraw money, too. And paint and clean and pack... And I need to finish Ram's video and photos. Gaaahhh. So many things to do, so little time.

Hope I finish. Kissy kissy!